Rigel

Happy Fourth of July

2008-07-04T18:01:53Z

Stolen from deza...

Don't have an overly-serious holiday.

Don't drill me, bro!

2008-06-24T23:15:43Z

Bush backs McCain on oil drilling
Mr Bush called on the Democratic-controlled Congress to lift the moratorium that has limited access to offshore oil and gas reserves for more than two decades. His intervention came a day after Mr McCain, the Republican presidential candidate, made the same proposal in a shift from his previous support for the ban.

If there's anyone out there still in favor of restarting offshore oil drilling, you'll probably want to know...

Off-message on offshore drilling?
At a town hall in Fresno, CA, McCain admitted that the offshore drilling proposal he unveiled last week would probably have mostly “psychological” benefits, NBC/NJ’s Adam Aigner-Treworgy notes.

When the man who's playing you tells you he's playing you...

In case you missed it: Stephen Colbert vs. Cookie Monster

2008-06-24T01:18:37Z

Mmm, salty!

2008-06-23T22:58:49Z

romamink referred me to an article counting out the saltiest restaurant and grocery items in 20 categories. I was horrified to find Bob Evans' sirloin tips & noodles on the list as the saltiest beef entree, with over 4,100mg of sodium! I obviously will never eat that again. :P Equally horrifying is that three items on the list are from Macaroni Grill, an italian restaurant chain I prefer (or used to prefer) over others in the area.

Highly informative: The 20 saltiest foods in America

George Carlin

2008-06-23T13:23:11Z

Local Storm Reports

2008-06-23T01:15:07Z

Here's a neat section of the National Weather Service's website that I found recently. It chronicles reports of storm damage as they come in from trained spotters, emergency services, amateur radio, the NWS, and police. It includes funnel cloud sightings, hail measurements, high wind gusts, trees and wires down, deaths, and other damage that gets called in. I've been checking it regularly whenever storms roll through to get another angle on what's coming and how intense the weather is in the area. Last week, one spotter reported 4.25" hail in rural western VA that covered the ground to a depth of 6".

BWI/DC/Dulles: http://www.weather.gov/view/validProds.php?prod=LSR&node=KLWX

LSR reports for other areas: http://www.weather.gov/view/validProds.php?prod=LSR

Video Reviews (6/22/08)

2008-06-22T19:14:16Z

TV: Powerpuff Girls [Season 1] (1998-1999)
Review: What can I say about this Cartoon Network series that hasn't already been said? It's cute, clever, fast-paced, and visually dynamic. It can get a little repetetive and watching eighteen in a row can wear out its welcome a little, but it otherwise hasn't dated at all. At first glimpse, it may appear somewhat infantile, but for some reason it maintains an innocent appeal to adults as well - probably due heavily to design, character, and frequent subtle homages rather than the scripts themselves. For example, watch for a stylized George Jetson to step out of the crowd in a number of episodes. Great for a unique juxtaposition of cutesy and action-packed stories.
Rating: **** out of *****

Movie: Ocean Odyssey (2006)
Review: Described as a tour of the oceans hosted by a sperm whale, this seemed to be a unique take on ocean documentaries. Rather than being that, however, this is more of a CG simulation of the 60-year life story of said whale, from birth to death. As off-putting as that might sound, the FX are fairly spectacular and the two-episode journey is quite engrossing, if a little repetetive. Animation is only occasionally reused and switches to live-action for surface shots. The tale can be intense at times, as nature is wont to be, including violence and death, but it manages to cover the entire gamut of how a whale lives and the experiences it has or is theorized to have, including everything from tidal waves to giant squid to undersea telecommunications cables. If you like ocean docs, this is a clever and well-made diversion.
Rating: ***1/2 out of *****

Movie: Lady in the Water (2006)
Review: This film about a visit from a water nymph turned out to be as disappointing as the average reviews claimed it would be. Little more than a muddle and a vanity project, various characters stumble through a fairy tale that has been unwittingly set upon by a b-grade, late-night schlock-fest. Events, characters, and props either drop from sight as quickly as they appear, or are baldly utilized for a single depth-less purpose. Basic logical and storytelling inconsistencies abound and the resulting vague story bears no resemblance to the film's introduction. It sways wildly from deadly serious to patently cartoonish, sometimes using both at the same time. Exposition and exposure to the movie's major elements are both at a minimum, so aside from brief flashes of potential, we're left with little but Giamatti's muttering. Shyamalan himself seems to perch on a pedastal above all the other characters, which comes off as awkward, at a minimum. Very sloppy, lazy, and deservedly unbelieveable for trying to pass off anything with the name "Madam Narf" on the audience.
Rating: *1/2 out of *****

Tubing, games, and cherry-picking (FAIL)

2008-06-22T18:40:32Z

Yesterday, we had our annual pre-Anthrocon tubing trip at Harper's Ferry. As usual, we promoted the event to the local mailing lists covering about 400-500 people, many of whom had recently been complaining that no one does anything in the area. Just as in prior years, we had few responses. Only romamink, tsukicat, and grlsctgnbad (who were we happy to have).

Tired of having to pay the spiraling cost of tube rental, now hitting $30, we bought two River Run I tubes off Amazon for $15 each plus s&h. Since the price with your own tube is only $10, one trip down the river and they paid for themselves. These tubes proved capable of handling class II rapids on a rocky river. Not only that, but they're massive and can easily accommodate an XXXL body - I tended to get lost in its depths and could fully curl up inside the ring. The inside of the tube is meshed, so you're actually sitting on something rather than hanging through the center hole. Add to that a backrest, handles, a grab rope, white surface to deflect heat, and two cupholders and this is a truly luxury ride.

We'd also gotten a double-seater tube that xydexx and I tried out. It might be nice for a flatwater ride, but we tended to want to go in different directions and it was significantly less controllable, so I think we'll keep it in reserve and buy two more single tubes. On the plus side, it attracted a lot of attention.

The river was running very high and fast, so we completed the trip in record time. Returning home, we cleaned up and played a little Cinq-O before heading out to La Chocita Grill for an early dinner. Roma ordered the steak that turned out to be some of the best I've ever tasted - I'm definitely getting that next time we go. They already have some of the best chicken I've ever had - this place is awesome.

That night, Roma and Tsuki stuck around to play Pillars of the Earth. After they left, X and I went out for Cold Stone Creamery, then watched some episodes of Heroes.

Today, we planned to go to Hartland Orchard, about an hour away, to pick sweet cherries. I frequently did it back home in NY and had been searching for a good local spot in VA for years but kept encountering obstacles - heavy frost killed the crops, owner died so orchard was closed (and is now for sale), website vanished, etc. This time, we were ready and we got up early to get there today, two days after they opened.

When we arrived, we were informed that they'd been picked clean of sweet cherries, only 48 hours after they opened, which is apparently 36 hours slower than usual. The orchard was still a mob scene with people standing on trucks in the middle of the orchard and pulling down branches to get the last remnants. If we'd brought a ladder, we still could've cleaned up because bunches were visible on the tallest, outermost sections that couldn't be reached by climbing. We ended up leaving empty-handed, with cherries only 5-10' out of our reach. We'll have to try again next year, arriving earlier and with a ladder. For $1/pound you totally cannot go wrong.

So now we're home, I got a haircut and am doing laundry. Hopefully there'll be a t-storm later (under a watch now) to salvage the day.

Stan Winston

2008-06-16T22:30:50Z

rigelkitty @ 2008-06-13T18:57:00

2008-06-13T22:57:39Z

John McCain says he doesn't know how to use a computer. In a video interview with Yahoo's Political team and Politico.com, McCain admitted he is computer illiterate. When asked if he preferred a Mac or a PC, McCain said "neither."
"I am a illiterate that has to rely on my wife for all the assistance I can get," McCain said. - 6/13/08

Talisman woes

2008-06-11T04:05:31Z

Last weekend, I finally got around to ordering the new 4th edition of Talisman from Games Workshop that was released in October of 2007. But tonight, I just found out that Fantasy Flight bought the franchise and is releasing a revised 4th edition with all new cards and pieces in October 2008, then releasing a whole bunch of expansions that aren't compatible with the Games Workshop version.

Argh! I was wondering why it was on clearance sale. At least FF says they'll sell an upgrade package to allow GW edition owners to replace their cards and bits without having to buy the game all over again. I wish I'd found this out 48 hours ago so I could've waited. :P

Anyone want to buy a brand new, unopened Talisman 4th edition for $30?


Talisman 4th edition (Games Workshop)	Talisman revised 4th ed. (Fantasy Flight)

Let's get this over with...

2008-06-10T03:16:18Z

Where will you be most of the time during the days?
Wednesday: In bed.
Thursday: Around during the afternoon, probably in and out of Con Ops, but working through dinner and the evening.
Friday: Rawr, working until 7pm or so, then free for the evening.
Saturday: RAWR! WORKING! Come to my dance - I've got a knock-your-socks-off closing track.
Sunday: Mostly free. Busy for Closing Ceremonies and staff dinner, but then free again.
Monday: Busy till leaving.

Where are you staying?
Disneyworld's Cinderella Castle, in the opulent Princess suite. Also known as the Westin.

Who will you be with?
xydexx on and off, my staff on and off, and by myself the rest of the time.

Do you do free art?
If you like stick figures.

Do you do trades?
Sure. If you like stick figures.

Do you do commissions?
Stick figures.

Do you have prints/CDs ?
Yes, CDs. I'll have a big pile of compilation CD-Rs to offload, as I have in previous years. See me if you want free music!

Do you do badges?
STICK FIGURES!!!

What is your gender?
10 If you don't know, you have to guess.

How old are you?
20 Goto 10

Can I touch you?
Tickets available at the box office. Now accepting PayPal.

Can I talk to you?
Is it about the bathtub filled with squirrels and expired Listerine? Then no.

TV and Movie Reviews (6/8/08)

2008-06-08T19:14:41Z

TV: Battlestar Galactica [Season 1] (2004-2005)
Review: My first exposure to the new Battlestar Galactica was the commercials that preceeded season one. I was immediately turned off by the idea of the new Cylons being pin-up models in red dresses. The bad news is that's pretty much exactly what happens. The good news is that the script is good enough to make the show watchable, even with the heavy-handed pseudo-religious subplot. The episodes are very deeply serialized, so the viewer is easily and quickly committed to the storyline. FX, with the exception of mostly crappy cut-n-paste robot Cylons marching, is limited to brief and infrequent space battles, but they're mostly unique and choreographed for high intensity. The "enemy within" plot is, in my opinion, deeply overused and a cop-out that seems primarily intended to conveniently excuse plot difficulties and budgetary issues. As engrossing as the rest of the story development is, it doesn't hold a candle to the superb miniseries that precedes season one, included in the DVD set - a fantastic armageddon-level setup for the rest to come. While the season-ender was predictable, I look forward to improvements in season two.
Rating: ***1/2 out of *****

Movie: Crank (2006)
Review: About a third of the way through this, I reached the inescapable conclusion that Crank is little more than what someone imagined a live-action version of the Grand Theft Auto videogame franchise would look like in movie form. It's mostly inane non-stop action right from the outset with only a handful of calmer scenes that only serve to rev up the engine again. A puddle has more depth than this movie. The ADD imagery, involving cartoony stunts, onscreen textual dialogue, unexpected campy bloodletting, and rampant lawbreaking by our favorite anti-hero, Jason Statham, as he tracks down the gang leader who gave him an hour to live, simply mandates that the brain spend its time in a library somewhere while the eyes gorge on candy for the next 90 minutes. It's silly, pointless, exciting, offensive, fun, and nonsense. I wish it came with a joystick.
Rating: *** out of *****

Movie: The Illusionist (2006)
Rating: Related to the viewer in a simplified, fairy tale-style plot, the story of a pauper who wishes to marry a forbidden princess isn't particularly unique to anyone with even a passing interest in cinema. The Illusionist tries to paint the old story anew by adding a bunch of magic tricks. The execution is quite good, helped along by the best performance I've ever seen by Paul Giamatti who really steals the show. The magic tricks are supposedly all done without camera tricks or added FX which is difficult to swallow since the desire to not reveal illusions seems to prevent the DVD from including much behind-the-scenes content to prove it. The story rounds up with a twist, but tries to expose it in rushed and stuttered fashion all under 60 seconds, making it somewhat hard to comprehend. I still don't think I fully understand or believe the gymnastics that went on to achieve the end result. Nevertheless, it's a pleasant film to watch and it proves that an old dog can learn at least a few new tricks.
Rating: ***1/2 out of *****

Movie: Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull (2008)
Review: I am a huge fan of the original Indiana Jones trilogy, so I approached the belated fourth installment with high expectations. Nearly twenty years is a long time and people do change - directors, actors, writers - but expectations remain evergreen. My conclusion was that this was a very fun movie, but not really the Indiana Jones I remembered. Crawling around in ancient ruins, solving archaeological puzzles and evading crumbling traps - these are the things I lived to see again and, to a certain degree, got from Indy's travels this time. The opening sequence took some adjustment, but ended up being the best part of the film. While it was quite an adventure with plenty of action sequences, the well seemed to otherwise have turned, having been neglected for so long. Lucas's touch was evident in a few ridiculous scenes that were clearly dumbed down to appeal to children. Didn't we have a cliffside vehicular chase scene in an earlier film? The absence of Denholm Elliott, John Rhys-Davies, or any other focal point of comic foil leaves a gaping hole in the experience. Even though the CG was minimized, it still stood out - glaringly in some cases. And, let's face it, Harrison Ford is clearly weary. I left the theater both pleased we were granted another round, but sadly convinced that the franchise in its current form is past its prime.
Rating: ***1/2 out of *****

Caribbean monk seal

2008-06-07T15:06:24Z

Caribbean monk seal becomes extinct

Snyder's Jalapeno Red Tortilla Strips

2008-05-29T01:33:58Z

These Snyder's Multigrain Jalapeno Red tortilla strips are really yummy. They're just slightly spicy and have a flavor that grows on you. And they are fantastic with salsa.

Unfortunately, I only bought one 9oz bag from the Snyder's factory store in Hanover, MD a few months back. The nearest place that sells this specific variety was 50 miles away last time I checked, according to their product locator. But now neither their product locator nor their online store lists it as a product!

Why does every yummy product I discover get discontinued within months of my finding it?!?

Movie & TV Reviews (5/22/08)

2008-05-22T04:15:29Z

TV Series: Lost [Season 1] (2004-2005)
Review: My usual path to interest for a tv series is approximately the following: disdain, then disinterest, then aloof curiosity, followed by grudging acknowledgement, and finally rabid fanboy. I haven't gone through the full set of these phases in quite some time, and I was prepared to for the airline passengers stranded on a mysterious island in Lost. Unfortunately, the hype seems to have outpaced the actual content of the program itself. The first three episodes are excellent and set what should be the tone for the rest of the show. But the intensity is quickly abandoned in favor of fancy daytime soap opera drama between characters. The really interesting bits simply stop occurring by episode four. While the acting and characters are of good quality, it's not what was promised by the premise. Many threats are literally invisible and others turn out to be simply mundane dangers. When you're expecting the sci-fi or supernatural, it's a bit of a letdown when it proves to be firmly rooted in reality. It's hard to believe the episodes cost so much when they're little more than actors wandering around on a beach in Hawaii. I'm moderately interested in the follow-throughs for season 2, but I can't really say I'm on the edge of my seat.
Rating: ***1/2 out of *****

Movie: Not Another Teen Movie (2001)
Review: As the parody films get worse and worse (see Epic Movie or Superhero Movie), the point just before things seem to have gone downhill is approximately at Not Another Teen Movie. It balances on the fine line between tired and formulaic, yet still laughably silly. The teen movie genre is not my forte (I haven't even seen The Breakfast Club), but I still found enough to giggle at. For the recent flood of similar movies, this one falls pretty squarely in the middle - not gut-busting, but not unwatchable. It probably does pretty well on the cable tv circuit, although heavily edited to remove the frequent boob shots.
Rating: **1/2 out of *****

Movie: Idiocracy (2006)
Review: The idea behind Idiocracy seems to have been to use lowbrow comedy to enlighten the viewer to the dumbing down of American society by telling the Futurama-like story of a guy who scientists hibernate too long until the world's IQ has bottomed out. Instead, I felt alarmingly less intelligent after having watched it. Fortunately, this was a temporary condition and, after a few hours of ridiculous giggling, duhs, and fart noises, our IQs climbed back to their normal levels and I was able to consider the movie more rationally. The first third of the film elicits groans of "It's so true!", but the presentation in the vein of sub-Dumb & Dumber wears thin quickly. Even the humor gets tiring. The latter half loses the social commentary angle and just turns into a bad cartoon, which Mike Judge is particularly famous for. A number of expensive FX sequences also seem wasted on the quality of the script. An interesting idea whose execution runs out of gas far too early.
Rating: **1/2 out of *****

rigelkitty @ 2008-05-19T22:14:00

2008-05-20T02:14:15Z

Thanks to defenbaugh for pointing this out in response to Presto! Teacher Out Of A Job:

Internet story of Pasco 'wizard' teacher spreads like magic

The May 5 story, with the eye-catching Internet headline "Magic trick costs teacher job," quickly launched the 48-year-old former Marine and banker from Tarpon Springs onto the World Wide Web. The report noted that district officials said "it wasn't just the wizardry," and that Piculas "had other performance issues" such as failing to follow the class lesson plan.

In fact, assistant superintendent Renalia DuBose told the St. Petersburg Times, it wasn't the magic trick at all. Rather, the district had written reports from the principal and a teacher at Rushe Middle School detailing Piculas' use of profane language, his inability to control the class and his decision to put a student in charge — something the student's parent complained about.

But those details got drowned out as the tale bounced from blog to blog. It was the wizardry angle, with all its Harry Potter imagery, that grabbed the spotlight.

This looks fun!

2008-05-15T00:35:31Z

Aye, Dark Overlord!

Tell lies! Shift the blame! Save yourself from the anger of the Evil Genius! You are returning to the Tower of Dark Sorcery after the umpteenth failed mission. His Excellency will certainly be displeased, which can only result in the most awful pain and suffering for his hapless minions. If only there were some way you could convince him that it's not your fault...

Aye, Dark Overlord! is a hilarious party game of lying through your teeth. Convince your Dark Overlord that it was not your fault his evil plan failed, but that of your inept companions! But watch out; they probably have the exact same idea...

Also known as Sì, Oscuro Signore.

Fifty-two dollars for a tank of gas

2008-05-13T04:49:10Z

I don't drive an SUV. My car has a 14 gallon tank. Despite being over a decade old, it still gets an economical 30-35mpg. I can drive over 400 miles before needing a fill up, in rare cases nearly 500. On the first page of my mileage logbook from 1996, a tank of gas cost $15.

Today, I paid over $50 for a tank of gas for the first time. Local prices went up over a nickel since this morning alone, a dime since Friday.

This bothers me.

rigelkitty @ 2008-05-11T18:25:00

2008-05-11T22:26:03Z

UPDATE: Not True! See http://rigelkitty.livejournal.com/511173.html

Presto! Teacher Out Of A Job

The telephone call that spelled the end of Jim Piculas' career as a substitute teacher in Pasco County came on a January day about a week after he performed the disappearing-toothpick trick for a group of rapt middle school students.

Pat Sinclair, who oversees substitute teachers in the Pasco County School District, was on the phone. She told Piculas there had been a complaint about his performance at Rushe Middle School in Land O' Lakes.

He asked what she meant.

"She said, 'You've been accused of wizardry,'" Piculas said.

Interesting coincidence

2008-05-11T05:36:02Z

5/10/08, 10am: Associated Press releases an article on the dying town of Picher, OK due to pollution and over-mining.
Pollution brings end to mining town in Oklahoma

5/10/08, 6pm: Picher, OK is wiped off the map by tornadoes.
"Complete devastation" reported in Picher

Crystal Grottoes

2008-05-11T00:33:31Z

Today featured a trip to Crystal Grottoes outside of Boonsboro, MD. It's only an hour away, so we left around 2pm, taking mostly backroads through the rural and scenic Catoctin mountains.

Along the way, we attempted to make a brief stop in Burkittsville, MD where there's a little-known gravity hill. You can put your car in neutral and, while it looks flat, your car will roll backwards because it's an optical illusion. Unfortunately, there was no parking and it was busy enough that we couldn't just stop and roll back and forth or even get out and come back to it, so we planned to come back later (but didn't).

Crystal Grottoes is a tiny attraction in the middle of farmland. Above ground, it's little more than a single old building (see link above for a pic). Unfortunately, they had a severe fire in the last month and the top floor was gutted, windows were gone, and the main floor was damaged. Nevertheless, the owner greeted us outside, insisted they were open, and we paid the $15 each at the lone remaining counter in the foyer, around which lay piles of construction equipment as they rebuilt. We played with the site's resident brown lab doggy while we waited for the next tour.

The cave itself has some very big positives and some very bad negatives. The good: the most formations of any showcave known; the passages are narrow and low, so you're literally eye-to-eye with gorgeous examples of flowstone, active stalactites, pillars, and curtains. The bad: At least 25% of the formations are broken from either the original excavation, poor maintenance, or abuse; our tour guide was a young guy with a flashlight who was so ignorant of the subject matter that he didn't know what a fault line was; the tour is somewhat hurried so you don't get too long to examine the up-close formations; and there are many passages that looked opportune for exploring, but weren't open yet - the guide even admitted that 900ft of additional area was available, but had no idea why it was closed.

There are signs all over the cave saying not to touch anything, but our tour guide repeatedly bashed at formations and surfaces in the cave when asked about them, visibly tearing off material. I was wringing my hands while he told us how the curtain stalactites made different sounds and banged on each one to demonstrate - skipping the ones that had clearly broken off from having had that done in the past. These formations took thousands, if not millions of years to develop, and the guide was wrecking them for the amusement of a handful of tourists.

It's a great cave that gave us unprecedented access to sights we could only see in other caves at a distance, but it's being destroyed by the carelessness of the very people who own it. The tourists were more respecting of the cave than the guides. I'm comforted by knowing that there are probably hundreds of other undiscovered caves with features probably rivaling any we've seen that remain safe.

Leaving there, we attempted to find a nice rural diner to grab dinner at, but ended up in Hagerstown before anything turned up, so we landed at a Ryan's, which is like a mini Old Country Buffet. I lurve buffet food, but it's something that has to be done in moderation because that stuff is so bad for you. Luckily, we hadn't been to one in a year or more, so...om nom nom.

We took old route 40 back to Frederick and I saw a record & tape shop where I can offload some of my vinyl that I didn't know what to do with - the nearest trade shop I'd known before this was in DC. And continuing on, we eventually came home.

If you're a Republican, you should be ashamed...

2008-05-09T22:40:28Z

...of your representatives in Congress!

Republicans Vote Against Moms; No Word Yet on Puppies, Kittens

It was already shaping up to be a difficult year for congressional Republicans. Now, on the cusp of Mother's Day, comes this: A majority of the House GOP has voted against motherhood.

On Wednesday afternoon, the House had just voted, 412 to 0, to pass H. Res. 1113, "Celebrating the role of mothers in the United States and supporting the goals and ideals of Mother's Day," when Rep. Todd Tiahrt (R-Kan.), rose in protest.

"Mr. Speaker, I move to reconsider the vote," he announced.

Rep. Kathy Castor (D-Fla.), who has two young daughters, moved to table Tiahrt's request, setting up a revote. This time, 178 Republicans cast their votes against mothers.

Movie Reviews (5/6/08)

2008-05-06T22:30:10Z

TV Series: Planet Earth (1996)
Review: The best analogy I can make for this gorgeously-filmed TV series is that it's the Bathroom Reader of nature specials. While each episode is designed to cover a grandiose, sweeping chunk of the natural world, the subjects it touches on therein amount to only a few seconds to a few minutes apiece - enough to briefly whet the curious mind, but hardly a dedicated inspection. This isn't really a complaint as it is a description of the approach. Earth is a big place and a lifetime of hour-long specials wouldn't cover it all, so this'll have to do. The DVD set is narrated by the original BBC pick, David Attenborough, who I'd prefer for all my nature specials if possible (or Peter Coyote), rather than the USA redub by Signourney Weaver. The rumor of heavy-handed focus on vicious predation is overrated - while there are examples of these, the gore is kept to a minimum and in moderation. Of course, the visuals are where this series is at. Whether you have HD or not, the eye-popping footage is the best of any television documentary I've yet seen. Each episode is endcapped by a ten-minute behind-the-scenes featurette which is often just as intriguing and often fairly humorous as well. The five-disc set does falter a bit in that the first episode is essentially a clip show of the next ten, and the entire 5th disc is another three-hour clip show with a less tolerable narrator focused on talking heads making dramatic pontifications on environmentalist issues - we stopped watching that after 15 minutes, preaching to the choir and all.
Rating: **** out of *****

Movie: Snakes On A Plane (2006)
Review: It's very easy to suspend disbelief for a movie that's inherently fantasy, such as a cartoon, a parody (like Naked Gun, Scary Movie, etc), or a sci-fi film with inexplicable gadgets. But despite the insistence of its advocates, SoaP simply took itself too seriously to be allowed to get away with it. Originally billed as having been made to be deliberately bad and hokey, it succeeds wildly, but not in a good way. Instead of lovingly embracing and wallowing in all the bad clichés of disaster/horror flicks, it falls into the gap between, simply utilizing them in passing, resulting in a painful-to-watch homage to direct-to-video paperweights. Samuel Jackson is simply not enough of a badass - his prize line is jarringly tacked onto a surprisingly mellow performance. The CG is terrible, but not deliberately enough to be laughable. The gore is probably the only thing that's gratuitous enough to be funny, but probably only because it was thrown in at the last second and doesn't mesh at all with the script. There is only one shining moment of hilarity that represents what this movie could've been, a truly Zucker-level gag that straddles every bad action/horror genre. That would be the deus ex machina button on the microwave. If only the rest of the film had been that brilliant.
Rating: ** out of *****

Movie: Pucker Up (2005)
Review: I've seen a number of movies about niche competitions lately, including Spellbound, Wordplay, and Word Wars. There seems to be a market for about one per year. In most cases, these have been fantastic. Pucker Up, covering the pursuit of the international whistling championship, is pretty good, but falls under the shadow of the others in terms of drama and historical examination. There just isn't a whole lot of whistling history to cover. They review the same content two or three times to fill the short 75 minute program. The excitement of the contest also doesn't build to the nail-biting crescendo one would hope, and unlike other docs the viewer isn't able to play along as things unfold. Still, the participants perform some pretty impressive feats of musical performance, and we caught ourselves comparing our own whistling prowess long after the show was over.
Rating: ***1/2 out of *****

Movie: Iron Man (2008)
Review: It's not every day that a superhero movie is widely praised by critics, and that led to my decision to catch this at the theater. I'm not a huge fan of Iron Man, and thus I wasn't able to connect with the main character, although he will appeal primarily to mechanics, engineers, and people who like to build stuff from scratch or take things apart to see how they work. This in no way precluded me from enjoying the film, with a fine balance of comedy, FX, and adventure. The only thing more surprising than how Robert Downey Jr. fits his role as Iron Man is how well Jeff Bridges does as Obidiah Stane. The characters and visuals are remarkably true to the comic books, especially the final battle, which lends to a significant amount of fan-love whenever any of the multitude of easter eggs pop out, but also reduces the depth that can be portrayed. Downey's delivery can be heavy-handed due to the actor's style and the level of improvisation that director Favreau allowed. There is a gimmick after the credits roll that, while many have raved about and wowed at, I was extremely disappointed in considering the level of painstaking accuracy that had gone into the rest of the movie.
Rating: **** out of *****

Wisp Mountain alpine coaster and Adventure Park, USA

2008-05-04T18:27:38Z

Continuing in the theme of desiring to get out more, we participated in two ACE (American Coaster Enthusiast) events on Saturday. We would've invited others since we could bring guests, but X didn't know what the job situation was until the end of last week, the day before the deadline for registrations.

We woke up at 6am and made sure we were out the door by 7am since it was a three hour trip to Wisp Mountain at the western edge of the Maryland panhandle and the meetup was at 10:15am. I-68 is a rollercoaster in itself, going up and down mountains of increasing size, from 900' to 3000', as we entered the eastern continental divide. Close to our destination, we passed through the ironically named Accident, MD, outside of which was a recently overturned car being attended to by the local constabulary.

We arrived earlier than expected and bought the ACE-discounted tickets. Normally it's an exorbitantly-priced $10/ride which I wouldn't say is worth it, but the event gave us half-off, so each ride was only $5. We bought four tickets which gave us enough rides to fill our 30-minute ERT (exclusive ride time) and get a good overall experience.

During the summer, Wisp sets up a series of track down the mountain and through the woods on which ride elaborate plastic sleds. The sleds descend completely via gravity, controlled only by the rider's application of brake handles. It ends up being a combination of an alpine slide and a rollercoaster, aptly called an alpine coaster. The trip up the mountain is very simple: sit in your sled and a pulley system hauls you to the top in a peaceful, relaxing manner. The descent is mostly quiet woodland and takes about 90 seconds, a bit short compared to some alpine coasters in Europe from what I understand.

Here's a video of the descent. (not ours)

The best experience is with the brakes completely off all the way down. Signs and signals say that going too fast is dangerous blah blah blah. The sleds can only reach a maximum velocity of 20-25mph, you're belted in, and the sled is attached to the track which can handle even the biggest rider at full tilt - a fact that was quietly impressed upon me by one of the staff. The ride becomes a drag when non-enthusiasts fearfully putter down the length of the ride with their brakes on, maintaining a top speed of about a fast walk, which results in a dozen cars piling up behind them. Luckily, with our ERT, few ACE participants shied from the full thrill.

It's no serious rollercoaster by any means and the absence of risk that comes with a true alpine slide and the brevity sucks a lot of the adrenaline out of it, but it's definitely an experience I'd recommend trying once (with the brakes off!). We got a bonus trip because, towards the end, regular visitors started filtering in and a pileup occured behind one frightened rider - the attendants generously said we could ride again free because the experience was ruined. When we left, the queue was filled with little old ladies, so we were getting out while the getting was good.

On our way back to I-68, we stopped at Annie's Kitchen Country Restaurant which was pretty close to the epitome of rustic diner. Tables and chairs seemed scavenged from the local flea market and the dining area was little bigger than a decent-sized living room. The food was merely adequate, tho.

Next stop was a 2.5 hour drive back the way we came to Adventure Park, USA, a large entertainment center about 5-10 miles east of Frederick, MD on I-70. They'd recently installed a Schwarzkopf Wild Cat that had been previously located at other parks. Schwarzkopf is a famous coaster builder and their Wild Cat style is a wild mouse with elements that make it more standard coaster-like.

Adventure Park is a large, themed warehouse building that contains an arcade, fast food, climbing wall, laser tag, and party rooms for kids. Otuside are the coaster, two kiddie rides, two go-kart tracks, two minigolf courses, and a few other small kids games. We met at the front at 3:30pm and were given a tour of the coaster's restoration project by the owner. He showed us the rare, original cars he's rebuilding as well as letting us inside the coaster fence to view the old 70's chain house - something you're never allowed to do at other parks due to the risks involved of being right next to an operating coaster. It was very interesting and informative, tho I didn't really understand half of it. The owner was very friendly and has a broad vision for the ride and the park.

The group took a picture in front of the Wild Cat and then each ascending the hill on the ride. The 30-second coaster itself is really no big deal, but it's historically significant which is neat. During the day, we rode the so-so go-karts twice, played both of the mini-golf courses, and had dinner. We received giveaways in the form of two coaster-themed shooter glasses (Top Gun & Volcano), a Volcano snow globe, an Adventure Park hat, and an Adventure Park stuffed bear.

The location itself is really not an amusement park destination. It's primarily geared towards kids and families, although the minigolf is pretty good. In that capacity, it works out well. One major drawback is a constant reminder that the ownership is deeply christian. At the front door is a plaque declaring glory to god. The first game you see is the "holey roller". And the music piped into the bathrooms and onto the golf course is unashamedly blatant religious pop music. It's a little subsversive and inappropriate.

We met a lot of nice people during the trips and discovered that, just as obsessive as we are about some things, other people are equally obsessive about other things. Some people's homes are loaded up with all sorts of coaster memorabilia. Others spent every single weekend visiting amusement parks repeatedly, both days. Still others belonged to every possible coaster organization imagineable (winner: six) and some others on top of that, like DAFE (Darkride and Funhouse Enthusiasts).

At 8pm it started to rain and the park shut down, so we said our goodbyes and headed home.